honestly?

If you want the truth, I'm not all that homesick.
A part of me feels bad for not being more homesick.
So I feel like I'm forcing homesickness.

If I had a weekend a month where the people from home that I love could come visit and I'd see them and then have the rest of the month to myself... If I had a cell phone to use and a house and computer of my own here...I'd be set. I could easily move here and forget everything back home. Get a job out here, forget it all. It wouldn't be that hard or that bad.

I've always loved my smalltown life in suburban Wilmington. It's fun to know everyone and to be familiar with everything. I've been in the same house on the same street in the same town since I was born. With the same friends, the same boys, the same places. Always the same.

But since I was young I've wanted to live in the city. I was dying to go to college in Boston or New York. It didnt' work out that way...but London is just so amazing and has reinforced that feeling of wanting to live in the city. It feels way too familiar and natural, and it terrifies and thrills me at the same time.

I want to go home before I want to stay here forever.
I'm not kidding.