Christmas List

*TWILIGHT ECLIPSE DVD :D
http://www.amazon.com/Twilight-Saga-Eclipse-Two-Disc-Special/dp/B001UV4XFG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1286508952&sr=8-1


*Clothes

*Sheet set. 600+ thread count (high as possible). Sateen is favorite. Brown or blue color. Similar to this:
http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/bedandbath/sheets/threadcount/600plus/PRD~c4090/Luxury+Collection+600Thread+Count+Sateen+Sheet+Set.jsp

*Twilight Calendar
http://www.amazon.com/Twilight-Saga-Eclipse-16-Month-Calendar/dp/B003GDQ3SQ/ref=pd_sxp_grid_i_0_0
*

*The Beatles Rockband for PS3
http://www.amazon.com/Beatles-Rock-Band-Playstation-3/dp/B001TOMQRG/ref=sr_1_7?s=gateway&ie=UTF8&qid=1285124257&sr=8-7

*RockBand Country Pack for PS3
http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/B002AO7DTK/ref=olp_prime_new?ie=UTF8&shipPromoFilter=1&sort=sip&me=&seller=&condition=new

I'm in Maine!

"It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more." - Dumbledore

I suffer from intense anxiety. I'm not sure I've really been diagnosed, though I've been prescribed anti-anxiety meds before...to no avail. I dumped my psychiatrist a long time ago, weaned myself off of every anti-depressant and anti-anxiety med, and haven't seen a therapist in about a year. Lately I've been getting back into an incredibly anxious state of mind. I don't even want to try and stop it. It's just a part of life. Like everything else...

We are all going to die. Everyone. Everybody dies. You have no idea when it will be. Where it will be. How it will be. What will your last words be? How will you be remembered? Who will be devastated? Who will care?

I don't believe in Heaven. I don't believe in Hell as it is described in the media. I believe in ghosts...so how does that work?

I'm terrified... I obviously want to know what happens so I know what to expect. I want to be religious and believe in a happy afterlife, but I don't believe. I can't help it.

I worry about people in my life. I worry about everything. I always figured I inherited that from my mom, and maybe that's true. But I also have this insane instinct. I feel like I know too much. Oh, and I think that it's just about time for the apocalypse LOL.

...but that's just me... :)

I have a headache...

First of all, TEAM CONAN. Conan has been a sort of "celebrity" crush and idol of mine for years now. I feel personally insulted and hurt by the position he's being put in and what they're doing to the Tonight Show franchise.

Jay Leno? He's alright. I've watched him from time to time while waiting for Conan's show. Definitely over him, though. Put him on earlier or something. Before the old folk get to bed, they're the only ones watching him nowadays, anyway...

What a fantastic gig that would be. Hosting a late night talk show. Definitely a big-if not the biggest- fantasy of mine. I'd love to get into writing comedy, but every time I try coming up with original ideas, I freeze up. I'm handy with the witty one liners once in a while though. At least I think I am...crap...

Anyway...NBC...morons...still love "30 rock"..."the office" is headed downhill without at least some sexual tension to fall back on....David Tennant! He's coming to hollywood to be in a show on NBC! So weird. Sounds like a horrible concept for a show, but if anyone can make it work it'd be Tennant. To go from RSC to Hollywood is kind of disgusting though. Oh well.

I'm tired. And sick. G'night.

Dear Santa...

Sorry. Need a place to write this all out, 'cause people keep asking what I want and I never have an answer.


Christmas Wish List:

-New Car. Not picky.
-Twilight series (hardcover)
-New cell phone. For texting. Pref Env3, blue.
-New jeans. Size? Huge. :)
-Winter coat. Pref a pea coat. Black.
-The new Harry Potter movie on DVD
-Pay off college debt ($20,000...give or take)
-"The Office" season 5.
-Cute, small, protective camera case. Camera is a nikon coolpix and it's teeny.
-All "Friends" seasons on DVD
-Headphones. Not ear buds or any kind that involves sticking the equipment into your ears, as that hurts and damages my poor vulnerable ear drums. Anything like THIS would be appropriate.
-New computer speakers.
-Cordless mouse for laptop. Preferably not too small. I hate really small mice.
-New headset with mic for computer.
-Deodorant! Maybe that Dove Ultimate stuff.
-Dove exfoliating bar soap.
-Face cream
-Comfy robe. Cotton or fluffy or something that isnt' velour or any other silly fabric.
-"30 Rock" on DVD. seasons 1-3
-"The Hangover" on DVD
-The recipe for Olive Garden's berry sangria. Also, a lifetime supply of OTB's sangria swirl margaritas.
-New underwear!
-New pillows. I always LOVE new pillows. <3


Okay, some of those weren't serious. But some were. So if you know of someone with extra money looking to spend on a random 22 year old chick, pass this list along. And highlight the "new car" and "student loans" parts.

hmm

I have so many goals. Well I don't know if you'd call them goals. I have so many...wishes...dreams...things I think I'd love to do. At least things I would love to try. There are farfetched goals (ie: host my own talk show) and more seemingly "mundane" goals such as becoming a housewife and mother. Not to say that there's anything easy or plain about being a mom because I personally think it's the toughest and most worthwhile job out there, but it's something I strongly believe that some people (not all, of course) persue just to hide from their other dreams. And someday when I do become a mom I hope I'm able to continue to persue a career and can look back on things I've done without regret.

So yes, my ultimate goal has always been to have kids. Do I want a child now? Absolutely freaking NO. Despite it being my ultimate goal, I respect the role enough to know it's going to consume my life, and I'm too selfish and completely NOT ready for that at all. There are other things I want to do. And you'd think I'd be able to find a job where I'm loving what I'm doing when there are so many things I'd like to do.

Best HP Movie Yet...Yayyy, It Didn't Suck =)

The sixth Harry Potter movie was by far the best!!!! This being said despite sitting next to a woman with a squirrel in her throat (well, I could only assume by the horrifying laughter she emitted every other minute for the 153 minute duration of the movie) who enjoyed eating peanuts (which I'm deathly allergic to) for half the movie. Just when I was about to say something, she put the peanuts away, but I still got the hives on my face and itchy eyes/nose/throat/everything. I need to remember to keep my epi-pen with me at all times..hmm..anyway....

BEST HP movie yet! This is the first one since Richard Harris' death where I didn't want to punch Dumbledore in the face! Michael Gambon actually created a likeable, funny, and true-to-the-book Dumbledore, so I could not complain. It actually made me care when Dumbledore dies (SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE!). This was also the first one that didn't provide me with even one example of horrid acting. Usually Rupert Grint's annoying blah acting (that's really the only way to describe it) gets me down or I'm making a face at Emma Watson's lack of subtlety with her over-the-top stage acting, but they really didn't give Grint much acting to do, and Watson has toned it down significantly. Hooray! Also, they made sure to give most of the more...well...legendary actors their due screen time. Julie Walters, Maggie Smith, Alan Rickman (love)...etc....every move and/or facial expression...perfect. And I'm a sucker for Snape/Alan Rickman. Nothing Rickman can do is wrong. And Snape is the best character no matter what. So there.

The story didn't seem rushed or anything. It probably helped that I didn't reread the book before I saw the movie, so I couldn't get too pissed about missing pieces. I just felt that the story was paced well and it was easy to follow, which hasn't been the case for the last couple of HP movies.

Soundtrack sucked. I think. I didn't notice it, and the few times I did it wasn't awe-inspiring like previous soundtracks. But it also didn't distract me from the actual movie, unlike previous soundtracks. So take that for what it's worth.

The movie did focus a lot on relationships. Which, hey, who doesn't focus on relationships when they're 16 years old like the characters in the movie? The only thing that sucked about this was the fact that the theatre I was in was chock-full of friggin' 16 year olds. Therefore, my brain was brutally murdered with the amount of giggling I heard tonight. Every time one character looked at another or kissed another or said one friggin' word to another I heard a chorus of high pitched giggles that reminded me of the torture of a middle school dance. I mean, don't get me wrong, the acting and writing in the movie made the teenage romance very entertaining, I chuckled lots. But for some reason (perhaps I'm bitter) I couldn't stand to hear the giggles that likely produced gushy diary or -worse- livejournal reviews of the movie and how it coincided with the writer's teenage lust.

Anywho, go see the movie. It was the best HP movie so far and I can't wait to see it again...quietly and alone in my home. hooray!

Why Didn't We Have These at Westfield? ;)

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